So, here we are. Trudging on through this January stuff with a vengeance, still waiting for some sort of break in most of our little life goings on.
Some days I feel like I'm running towards something, some days I feel like I'm running from something, and some days I manage to stop and breathe and look around, noticing that nothing is chasing me and nothing but potential lies out in front. Those days keep me sane.
Things are tight. We have a moving date, but as of yet no real way to see it actually really happening like we'd hoped. So goes the life when you're dealing with running your own businesses and staying at home. The stability of our relationship and our family is at an all-time high, but knowing where any money is coming from on any given day is a mystery.
The truth is, this only makes life more precious, and puts us in the boat with most people on this planet. Day to day. Moment to moment. You make your reality. Someone throws mud at you, you can throw it back, cry about it, or make something useful with it.
My stress levels, however, are the highest I've ever known. I was never really a stressed person, but in the last six months I've found myself with back problems and all sorts of other strange things that I know are caused by feeling responsible for my little family and our future, and trying to do the thing that I feel it is in our bones to do. Go West.
It's not all really up to me, I know I can't help to make something happen unless I have the right tools. Right now those tools seem blurry and hard to reach. I listen to music. I focus. I pray to something I am not really sure about. I give my child kisses, which he then of course takes in his hand and puts in his pocket to save for later.
I think we all will need them in the months ahead.
It will come, it will happen. We cannot go back to being apart half the year, even if it makes life easier financially. We made this leap, and we need to live through it. We're doing what our hearts and minds know is best.
All in good time. All together.
My note to self:
Relax.
Let go.
Enjoy.
Breathe.
Give.
Cherish.
Love. With everything you have. Love.
<3
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